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My female friends said the trip would make or break the relationship. My guy friends said I was bringing sand to the beach. Karen’s friends said she was crazy to travel to another continent with a guy who wouldn’t even leave a contacts case at her apartment. As excited as I was while packing, a little part of me wondered if I was courting disaster and should be traveling solo like I had talked about so often in my twenties. So Karen and I landed in Thailand with a strict itinerary that included scuba diving, seeing a shitload of temples, and returning to Los Angeles not hating each other’s guts. And to our surprise, we traveled along with no major emotional blow-ups or vacation horror stories. I felt a smug satisfaction as we approached the last day of our trip in Bangkok. The plan was to blow the last of our baht on knockoff jeans and an upscale curry dinner, then get a good night’s rest before our morning flight. But that afternoon, I flipped through my travel journal without finding any seeds for a novel.

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I had just finished work about So, in a fit of spontaneity, I sent an e-mail to a young lady. Imagine my surprise when I found out that the post was actually a woman and not some creep trolling for dick pics.

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I’d last seen him over 15 years ago. He had been my first love and our relationship consisted mainly of awkward teenage fumblings in awkward locations. We skirted each other like matador and bull until alcohol and slow music led us to stumble against each other in a clumsy reunion. We lay there and reminisced about those awkward teenage fumblings until we partook of some very awkward something fumblings.

I knew he never would. Nights spent stalking the phone as a year-old had at least taught me he wasn’t the type to phone. But, it didn’t matter. This one-night stand had given me closure.

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Things progressed pretty rapidly from there, and before I knew it, we were both naked from the waist down, and he was pulling a condom out of his pants.

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Here’s his story—and photos—of his escapade with the would-be Delaware senator. I barely knew Christine when she turned up at my door at around eight o’clock on the night of Halloween. We’d met for the first and only time three months earlier when my two roommates and I signed the lease on our apartment: Christine’s aunt owned the place we were moving into, and she happened to be up from Delaware visiting at the time.

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I’d shot my vacation wad with this trek and we’d had an experience not so different from one my parents would have.

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He was just a man who slept way too close to the floor, surrounded by nylon.

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